Post
by ProCroation » Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:13 am
Correction: It was 10.7 miles long. You don't have to run, you can walk it. The name of the game is to finish. I completed it. Not only did I complete it...I was the only member of my team to successfully complete each obstacle without failure.
Obstacles included:
Killa Gorilla - essentially running or walking up and down a pretty steep hill for about a mile
Kiss of Mud - crawling through a mud hole while avoiding barbed wire overhead
Skidmarked - A wall climb...the wall is leaning toward you, so teamwork is required to get over it
Hero carry - You carry your partner 50 yards, your partner carrys you 50 yards
Quagmire - a really wet mud hole with lots of unseen steep drop offs intended to make you slip and fall
Devils beard - a thick braid ship net, strewn over the side of a hill. You must climb the hill with the weight of this net draped over you
Berlin walls - two straight up/down 9 or 10 foot wall climbs in a row
Pitfall - pretty much same as quagmire
The Blockness Monster - You'd have to look it up on youtube. Think of it as a huge square log and you're trying to climb out of water and over it. Other team mates have to rotate the "log" with each member clinging on it to get over it, one at a time.
Bale bonds - three hay bales stacked up and you have to climb over the top
Pyramid scheme - Again youtube would best explain. It's an angled wall. You have to body stack people in a pyramid to get to the top. Sometimes you're the base...sometimes you're the climber...sometimes you're pulling people to the top.
Everest 2.0 - It's a half pipe and you have to run up it and grab someone else's hand or slide back down it.
Mud Mile - OMG this was a beast. It's just a watery mud hole and you climb out over a muddy hill..back into muddy water, over another muddy hill...and do this for 7 or 8 hills in a row. Scrapes your knees and shins up and you nearly rip your fingernails out trying to climb out.
Another quagmire
Stage 5 clinger - This was basically a ladder climb except the ladder is leaning and you are climbing the bottom side of it.
Hold Your Wood - You carry a log over your shoulder for I would guess 100 yards or maybe 150 (1st half is downhill and then back up)
Ladder to hell - Literally like climbing over a giant version of a wood fence you see on every farm...just really big though.
Arctic Enema - Slide down a pipe into ice water. When you emerge from underwater you're in a cage. Go under water to swim out of the cage.
Black Hole - There are large bags full of water hanging almost to the ground. You have to crawl under them. The weight of all that water holds you tight to the ground.
Funky Monkey the revolution - This is where I lost all my team mates to a failure. You cross a water pit on inclined monkey bars. At the end of the monkey bars is a horizontal ship wheel. When you grab the wheel it spins you around. You must reach from this wheel to grab a vertical ship wheel, then another ship wheel, then a pipe hanging from two chains to shimmy down to the finish platform. Everyone else fell at the first ship wheel.
Snot Rocket - climb into ice cold water waist deep, enter a corrugated pipe that is standing vertical...and climb up the inside of the 15 foot pipe...all while being shot with ice water from overhead.
Electroshock Therapy - You run through a mud pit with speed bumps in it, while 100's of wires dangle down from overhead to shock you. They have it hooked up to an electric fence box. I actually enjoyed this for some reason. It pulses on and off so you're not constantly being ate up at least.
Then you cross a finish line where you are given, a headband stating you finished, a t-shirt, a bag of pretzels and a cup of beer.
A cop stopped me on the street and said "we're looking for a mugger who fits your description" , so I said "okay I'll do it".