My name and is Max. Mom calls me maxi-pad, probably because I'm a bloody pain in her twat. Dad calls me shithead, probably because I'm brown and a bit of a turd. I just turned 7 but can still outrun every dog I know. I'm a chocolate lab and beagle mix. I look just like a chocolate lab puppy, just knee high with a short coat. I'm about 42 pounds but I could lose a few if someone played with me. I've been an indoor dog because I'm temperature sensitive due to a lack of fluff or padding.
I've grown up with lots of cats so I know all their rules. I even raised one myself. I never got in any trouble at the dog park and I don't mind when my grandparents dog comes to stay.
I'm not crate trained. I bark like crazy in one , even all night long. I'm a bit spoiled in that I steal 2/3 of my parents bed. Suckers! Mom says I have to tell you I need to sleep in a dog bed at your house.
I need a new home because my mom has a disability and can't take care of me even though she is home all day. Dad is too busy at work and looking after mom, plus mom is getting a service dog in two weeks. I'm too bored here but I like the cuddles. I have a fenced backyard but I need more. I need walks and playtime.
I sometimes beg for food at the table but only grandpa gives in. Mom hates that. I don't usually get table scraps, but if you have a tomato or head of green cabbage I will steal it before you know it's missing.
I love car and truck rides and sticking my head out the window, but as often as I try to sit in the front they still won't let me drive. I am an expert at sock removal but I don't fetch slippers or pipes.
Here is where I hope my honesty won't keep you from saving my life because no shelter will take me and the humane society will put me down. I've never been mean to kids but that doesn't mean I should ever be trusted with them. I have aggression issues. I have never attacked a visitor unless you count getting excited, jumping on them and nailing them in the balls. Girls in sandals always get multiple toe lickings.
My dad is alpha. I did bite him once out of fear on moving day 6 years ago. I was stressed and afraid they were going to leave me when they went out for dinner. I used to bare my teeth at him when I was disciplined and yelled at. I don't do that to him anymore. He can get me to walk on a leash at pace without me being a spaz.
I hate going to the kennel when my parents leave on a trip. They pay extra for walks, playtime and treats but always get a refund because I get scared and defend myself in the corner. I've bitten a lot of tasty employees and now my parents have to take me back to my run and pick me up from it.
I do, however, repeatedly attack my mom. She is not alpha. She is weak and less than me. I must keep her in line. I bit her and drew blood 6 years ago also. That was because she wanted to get in bed and I decided that spot was mine. I still attack her for things like that today. If she rolls over in bed or on the couch and wakes me or disturbs me I go after her again and again so she will learn I am her alpha. A month ago I left a big bruise on her foot. She is lucky she keeps a blanket between us. Mom says I am 80% good and 20% bad. That is why she is sad for me even though I hurt her. Dad says I'm closer to 90% good. I guess that means he likes me 10% more than he likes mom. I'm worried about him the most.
I do know commands like my name, sit, gentle (for taking treats, meeting small animals and kids), come, down ( off furniture), and back (away from the door or other things), especially when said firmly and emphasized with a snap of the fingers.
I'm not good at fetch. Once the ball stops moving it isn't fun to chase anymore. I also hate water. I may look like I should but I don't retrieve, especially out of water. I am not bothered by gun noises. I've been to the trap shooting range lots of times. Dad says you don't want me chasing rabbits because I will catch them. I even tried to catch a deer once. Squirrels don't interest me much, but I could probably be trained to flush birds. I like to wander but not too far from my parents and I come back when called.
I'm not ready to go yet, I'm still a puppy at heart and I know it will tear my parents to pieces. Please contact my dad to help me out. We deliver or you can pick me up, provided I can stick my head out the windows.
